Sex Toy Reviews, Sex Advice, Sexual Health News - OJOY.com » tips

Question NOT to Ask in Bed #34

Barbie Davenporte — Thu, 03 Sep 2009 20:27:52 +0000

Don’t (ever ever ever).

I thought this was common sense, but apparently not.

Guys, when you’re lying in bed post-coital (that means after you two fucked/made love/whatev), don’t ask questions that pry into her sex life. It’s none of your business. If it were, you wouldn’t have to ask.

Example #1:

HIM: “You know what would make me feel awesome?”

HER: “Uh, what.”

HIM: “If I was the first person you’ve ever done [insert sex position here] with.”

HER: [Awkward silence. Post-orgasm glow GONE.]

That’s like asking her if your dick is the biggest she’s ever seen — ’cause chances are buddy, it’s NOT.

Email this post

Sexy Sounds

Barbie Davenporte — Thu, 03 Sep 2009 16:44:39 +0000

I used to think Portishead was the go-to group for an instant turn-on and/or primo make-out music, but I was recently introduced to Flying Lotus, and my goodness. It’s so distracting; I can barely listen to it in pubic (typo, but I’m leaving it). They’ve got a MySpace music account with some great free tracks, and if you want to cut straight to the chase, skip to the song “Tea Leaf Dancers” and press play. Just make sure you’ve got someone (or something) nearby to assist with the side effects.

Email this post

Slippery When Wet

Barbie Davenporte — Wed, 02 Sep 2009 17:51:28 +0000

Do: Keep lube near and/or under your bed. Owning it doesn’t make him inadequate, and using it doesn’t make her defective. It makes sex better for you both, so use it and use it liberally.

Email this post

Like a Lion

Charlotte Jones — Tue, 01 Sep 2009 23:08:16 +0000

Do: Put yourself out there. My best friend was at the airport waiting for a delayed flight and decided to check out the solar-powered monogram license plate key chains in the Hudson News shop. (Because the non-solar-powered monogram license plate key chains are terrible for the environment?) She looked up to see a young man sporting a trucker hat, flat-ironed black locks, and skinny jeans in front of her, who promptly blurted, “You’re beautiful. Can I call you sometime?” Now, granted, had my friend not been married and had this young man not looked like the former president of the Black Eyed Peas fan club, she may have considered his offer. Why? Because he was confident enough to risk her rejection.

Email this post

Proceed With Caution

Barbie Davenporte — Sun, 30 Aug 2009 08:12:41 +0000

Don’t: Don’t go ANYWHERE near her anal area — that means mouth, fingers, whatever — without clear confirmation that it’s a “go.” That means ask her, using your words and vocal chords. Lingering around the region is not a clear indication of your intentions. Put that thumb away.

Email this post

Granny Panties

Barbie Davenporte — Sun, 30 Aug 2009 01:36:58 +0000

After yet another embarrassing, “Here, let me get that for you,” night, I thought I’d share a tip that, for some reason, has taken far too long to register:

Chances are the night you decide to wear your granny panties is going to be the night you end up reaching third (or 12^th) base. There’s no way to plan for it — it might even be an official law, signed and dated by Murphy himself — and wearing ugly underwear almost guarantees its removal by someone other than yourself later that evening. It certainly doesn’t work as a preventative measure.

Email this post

First/Last Date

Harriet Donato — Thu, 27 Aug 2009 20:32:06 +0000

Went on a first date last night. Thought I’d give him a try. He failed.

Ladies — I feel it’s our public duty to educate the men of the world about what NOT to do when you like a girl. How else are they going to learn?

DISCLAIMER: Men — if you want to just bang the chick, then by all means do whatever it takes and skip dessert.

6 Don’ts for the Dating Scene:

Make an effort on the first impression…I know it shouldn’t matter, but it kinda does. It shows you’re interested enough to spend some time washing your hair and changing your shirt.
Don’t make me choose the restaurant and don’t make me drive.
Don’t try to hold and caress my hand at dinner when we’ve only known each other for like, a couple of hours. It’s not romantic; it’s kinda weird.
Don’t invite yourself into my apartment after dinner to “talk” more. I’m not stupid. If I wanted to continue the evening, I would already have asked you to come inside.
Compliments are great. But when the majority of your side of the conversation revolves around how you like my eyes, wit, height, shoe size, blood type…it gets a little uncomfortable.
Even if you really like me, don’t tell me yet. It’s the first date, and if you already want to get married and buy a time-share together, you might need to step back a bit. The chase can be fun, but when it’s too easy, the excitement wanes.

Email this post