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30
Sep

I’m a Survivor.

fish

I met Dude on a Plane last night. I forgot how nice his eyes are…and how short he is.

We talked for several hours, and I still am having trouble grasping why he has been so determined to maintain email contact and forgo any and all verbal communication. He’s very friendly and easy-going, and I can’t see any reason for him to hide behind spell check and the “undo” button.

Because I’m such a slick and witty gal, I slipped in a comment about this generation’s dependence on texts and email — James Bond-style, inspired by the dry stirred martini I ordered — to see how he’d respond.

He attributed that dependence (which I equate to HIS dependence) on convenience.

Then he inadvertently explained why he initially suggested a crowded dive bar locally known for its heavy pours and kitschy theme as our first meeting place. It appears he truly loves the bar, it reminds him of simpler times surfing in Hawaii (yes, he’s an avid surfer and that’s kinda hot) and has tremendous amounts of fun each time he goes.

OK…maybe he wasn’t trying to knock me out on our first date. But you’d think maybe, seeing as though we had such a nice conversation, he’d be ready to hit second base and give me a call.

Nah.

He emailed me at noon. It appears our mutual love for the ocean is the inspiration for our next date.

“I’ll find us a good seafood restaurant.”

Can’t say no to that.

I accepted via text. Two can play at this game.


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10
Sep

Sexting

Women use their minds more than men when it comes to sex, which is one of the reasons why erotic literature is so popular among the ladies.

Thats why I love sexy text messages aka sext messages which I consider impromptu erotica for today’s 21st Century woman-on-the-go.

Hello class, welcome to Sexting 101.

Sexting is an art of the written form, so guys please don’t send spontaneous photos of your abs and for the love of Pete keep your iPhone out of your pants. Refer to Diagram A:

Diagram A

Instead think of how William Shakespeare or even Christopher Pike (depending on your literary level) would have sexted his main squeeze. Refer to Diagram B:

hot-sext

Let us know you’re horny by telling us what you want to do, not showing us your boner.


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