What’s the last thing Tickle Me Elmo receives before he leaves the factory?
Two test tickles
What did the egg say to the boiling water?
“How can you expect me to get hard so fast? I just got laid a minute ago.”
A man is out shopping and discovers a new brand of Olympic condoms. Clearly impressed, he buys a pack. Upon getting home he announces to his wife the purchase he just made.
“Olympic condoms?” she asks, “What makes them so special?”
“There are three colors,” he replies, “Gold, Silver and Bronze.”
“What color are you going to wear tonight?” she asks cheekily.
“Gold of course,” says the man proudly.
The wife responds, “Really, why don’t you wear Silver, it would be nice if you came second for a change!”

A chicken and an egg check in to a cheap motel room. Moments later the chicken sits up against the headboard and lights a cigarette.
The egg says, “Well, that settles that.”
