I was reading gossip blogs working really hard this afternoon when I saw a photo of pop singer/fashion experiment Rihanna that inspired me.

I’ll give you a moment or five to wipe the drool from your chin and clean up that mess.

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OK. What’s the first thing you do when you see a pierced nipple? How about when that pierced nipple is attached to a naked chick lying in front of you ready to have lots of sex?

If you answered, “Tug on it and never let go,” pull up your pants and do your best to let the door hit you on the way out.

Newsflash: People don’t pierce their nipples because it feels amazing when they’re accidentally ripped out.

It’s different for everyone, but piercing a sensitive part of the body can heighten sensitivity, and SOME people enjoy the sensation of light tugging. You can find out what your pierced partner prefers by lightly attempting an intermittent tug or two while licking/touching, and if she doesn’t recoil in horror, then you’ve got your answer.

But if the girl’s entire body stiffens and she screams, “What the hell is wrong with you?!!” your best bet is to stop if you want to avoid having your eye jabbed out by a dildo.

Or if you’re into that sort of thing, by all means carry on. Eye patches are bad-ass, and I think Rihanna’s got one with rhinestones.

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