WET is a popular brand of lube. It has often been included in several of the vibes I have tried. I sort of expected the same ol’ lube repackaged with a new marketing scheme — but I was totally wrong. The packaging is attractive in black and gold and I appreciated that the instructions were easy to find — instructions for the male on one side of the box, female on the other, and they were color coded: red for her, black for him. Upon opening the box the same colors applied to the two tubes of lube. This was especially useful when we got down to action and weren’t really paying attention to labels.

Instructions called for the Pleasure Gel for Her to be applied five minutes before intercourse — the package didn’t say how much fun that would be! By incorporating it into foreplay we didn’t need a timer to know when we were ready to go. We rubbed the gel on each other and the gentle warming felt so good we took foreplay into overtime. As the gel’s effects last up to 20 minutes, once we got going we reapplied a couple times for a truly wild night of uninhibited passion.

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The porn scene: Girl and guy make out in the shower. Girl blows guy, guy flicks her clit a little with his finger. Then they start fucking and orgasms/pop-shots ensue.

The real-life scene: Girl and guy make out in the shower. Both are freezing because the warm water can’t hit them both at the same time. Girl blows guy and can’t see because the water pouring into her eyes blurs her contacts. Guy flicks her clit and then they start fucking, but the water pouring over them washes away much of her own wetness and the friction fucks it all up.

Sex in the shower (or pool, hot tub and shallow bodies of water) is hot, no doubt. But a little bit of thought beforehand can help rise that hotness factor.

1. Keep in mind that whenever the water’s pouring on you, it’s not pouring on your partner and he/she is probably cold and uncomfortable.

DISCLAIMER: This tip is for showers located in traditional home-like environments. If you’re fucking in an outdoor shower in Fiji, temperature probably isn’t an issue and I hate you for not inviting me.

2. Keep in mind where the water is spraying as you move around. If you want your gal to suck your cock, don’t point in the direction of the waterfall. Do her a favor and block the stream with your back — she needs to be able to see what she’s doing.

Same goes for gals who want their men to eat out in the shower. No one wants to kneel on the bottom of a bathtub. It’s uncomfortable and, depending on the niceness of your shower, kinda gross. That’s why they make bathtub mats that stay stationary with suction-cups — life becomes easier for us all!

3. Keep in mind the biggest issue with having sex in water: H2O tends to cancel out a woman’s own natural lubricant, causing friction and, as a result, not-awesome sex — ESPECIALLY when condoms are involved.

That’s why it’s essential to have lube nearby, and not just any old water-based goo will do. Go with silicone, which tends to be thinner and silkier than its gloppy counterpart and stays that way in water.

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Do: Clean up.

I left a bullet vibe, bottle of lube and giant stainless steel dildo next to my bed and managed not to notice them as I prepped for a date a few nights ago.

At this point a pink silicone dildo has become as common a decor element as a table lamp, but I find it somewhat tragic that I’m more likely to straighten out my slightly crooked bath mat than put away my arsenal of sex toys before the guest(s) arrive.

The bedroom was the last part of my apartment tour, and I almost choked on my gum when I saw the sexual still life sitting on my bedside table. I had 20 seconds to do one of three things:

1. Suddenly remember I left the stove on and ask him to help me turn it off.
2. Faint.
3. Continue with the tour and hope he doesn’t look to his left.

I chose option 3, and as he checked out a painting on my wall I stealthily knocked the dildo under my bed (careful to muffle the noise) and hoped the guy would assume the purple egg-shaped object was a cat toy, and the bottle next to it some kind of hand lotion.

He looked to his left but managed not to lock eyes on anything other than me. If he did notice the sex toy arrangement, he made no comment, facial expression or physical recoil to make it obvious, and the fact that he still wanted to take me out for cookies and conversation made it clear he’s probably a good guy.

He hasn’t asked me out on a second date yet though. I hope he does.

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I’ve got a lot of toys and not a lot of places to put them. I’ve had one small carrying case for a couple of years now, and as my arsenal grew, the zipper refused to close. Now that’s no way to keep my special toys clean and protected!

The XL Adult ToyBox is like an attaché case with Velcro strips to stick a series of six clear pouches and six loops (great to hang feathers and floggers) and customize its organization. I can fill a smaller pouch with lube pillow packs, a larger pouch with lube bottles (protecting the rest of my gear in case one leaks) and put all kinds of smaller bullet vibes, condoms, clamps and mini pump cups (yep, got those, too) and anything else that might get lost floating around a big bag under the bed.

I’ve also got several dildos, each in its own velvet satchel, that also need to fit in there, and because the pouches can be arranged to my liking (it’s like adult Tetris!) everything fits like a glove. Lying flat, it’s only a few inches tall, so it slides under my bed perfectly, and two handles — one on its side and the other at the top — makes it easy to transport to slumber parties.

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First and foremost, I’d like to say I’m an avid user and fan of Pjur and its products — they are the best. Its new Man Personal Glide stands up with all the rest. It’s a great light silicone lubricant, and is perfect for a quick jerk-off. Unlike other silicone lubricants, Pjur has made this formula a bit thinner, but still has the long-lasting effect that lubes of this style offer. Its skin compatibility is dermatologically confirmed, there are no preservatives, and — best of all — it’s safe for daily use. It works OK with condoms, but I would definitely recommend using this as a jerk-off lube, or sex without a condom (but only if you’re safe about it!) All in all, Pjur did it once again, definitely a good product.

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I’ve got a big cardboard box of sex toys in the backseat of my car. Is that weird?

At the office, I’m sent so many products to test, review and check out (tough job, I know) and there isn’t enough time (or pages in the magazine I’m editor for) to include them all. As a result, I have boxes and piles of vibrators, dildos, penis pumps, lube, pills and everything else you can imagine all over my office and now they’ve migrated to my car. (You never know when a friend, valet or manicurist might need a new sex toy.)

But at this point, I’ve grown so accustomed being surrounded by these things that a purple strap-on (still in its box, duh) sitting on my kitchen table next to a vase of flowers and my cat Harriet is nothing out of the ordinary.

So until I find a way to put these products to use I need to find a new place to put that box. This morning I realized how visible the pink handcuffs, assortment of jellybean-colored vibrators, and bottles of cherry-flavored lube (gross) are sitting in my VW hatchback when a motorcyclist stopped at a red light looked at me, pointed to the backseat, and gave a thumbs-up.

I need tinted windows. Or a yard sale.

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When you’re sleeping with someone for the first time, especially after only just meeting, don’t interrupt the heat of passion to suggest bagging the condom.

Example:

HIM: “You know [kiss] what would feel [smack, kiss] awesome?”
HER: “[kiss, lick] mmgh?”
HIM: “[inaudible muffled noise] without a condom.”
[Record scratching to a halt.]

We’ve never fucked. I’ve never seen your nether regions. For all I know, you could be an international gigolo/man-whore. You might have a sexy accent and piercing green eyes, but you really think the idea of exposing my precious vagina to your bare penis is a turn-on? Hell no.

First of all, let’s be honest: EVERYONE knows sex feels better without a condom. But 5-15 (preferably the latter) minutes of orgasm-inducing (hopefully) action is not even a little bit worth the risk of catching something that either a)will cost time, money and surely some gross side effects to cure; or b)never be cured ever ever, and result in a lifetime of awkward conversation each time a relationship develops.

Keep in mind, condom manufacturing has come a long way in the several centuries that condom-like sheaths – often made of linen, leather or chemically treated bladder or intestine (latex doesn’t sound so bad now, hmm?) – were reportedly used.

There’s more to choose from than your basic latex jimmy hat. Head to your local pharmacy, and if you can muster up the courage, try an adult boutique to see what latex and non-latex options are available. Some brands (Kimono) are famous for making ultra-thin styles, while others offer options made from materials that won’t irritate skin.

The key is not to assume all condoms feel like rubbery balloons and to keep an open mind (and open bottle of lube.) You’ll be happy you did.

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Do: Keep lube near and/or under your bed. Owning it doesn’t make him inadequate, and using it doesn’t make her defective. It makes sex better for you both, so use it and use it liberally.

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