Upon first seeing the product, the packaging is attractive with a pretty blue transparent plastic box which enables you to see the entire product, and be able to tell all its functions. The product itself is also a pretty, light blue transparent phthalates-free soft jelly material, which is comfortable to hold on to. Installing the batteries is a breeze, since you simply unscrew the cap, pop out the battery pack in which you place three AA batteries (not included), slide it back in and screw the cap back on.

Now the fun starts … variable speed vibration in the shaft, which has a bullet near the tip and a separate variable speed vibration/rotation in the dolphin-shaped clitoral stimulator — which rotates in a circular direction that is reversible by the press of a separate button. The control panel on the toy is approximately one inch by two inches and is easy to press the up/down speed controls. Another great feature is that it’s waterproof, and can be used when bathing and showering, which can be both convenient and fun. Nevertheless, it was just too large for my own personal anatomy. I would like a smaller shaft to be able to enjoy the function of the dolphin.

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I hear countless stories about dudes who are threatened by sex toys.

Common quote-worthy comments:

• “My chick doesn’t need that.”
• “A real man doesn’t need a toy to make his chick cum”
• “She’s gonna love that rabbit more than me.”

Sure, sex toys are fun to use solo, but that DOESN’T mean they’re made to be penis/tongue/boyfriend replacements. In fact, they’re sometimes more fun to use in groups of two or more, and it’s not just for the ladies to enjoy. Think of them as sex tools, not sex substitutes.

VIBRATORS – Teasing is stellar foreplay. A vibrator can tingle parts of your body you’d never think to touch and set your mind into sex-mode fast. Run it along the neck, collarbone, inner thighs and forearms — add some lube and the buzzing sensation feels quite nice on and around the balls, taint and penis. When it’s time to get down to business, don’t put it away just yet. Vibing on the clit makes orgasms cum come quicker.

DILDOS - Using dildos in the bedroom isn’t reserved only for our lesbian friends. Sure, you’ve got a working cock, and that’s great — when we’re fucking. The best oral sex I’ve ever had was from a guy who used his right hand to prop himself up and his left to slowly (and then faster, faster, faster) fuck me with a dildo. It sounds complicated, but it’s not rocket science. I came hard and fast every time, and he felt like a hero.

COCKRINGS – Cockrings aren’t just for men who “can’t keep it up.” These stretchy rings have come a long way, and now there are designs on the market that not only help keep him harder longer, but also feature little vibrators that hit the clit each time he thrusts. It’s a win-win situation, so even if you don’t “need” a cockring, there’s still reason to give one a try. And don’t be scared — cockrings aren’t supposed to feel tight, and your nuts aren’t going to fall off if you wear it for 15 minutes. If it’s uncomfortable, go buy a bigger size and give yourself a high-5 when she’s not looking.

There are way too many toys to list here, so I suggest you check out the options online and see what catches your eye. But remember: Much like lube isn’t for defective vaginas, vibrators, dildos and other toys aren’t made to replace inadequate lovers.

If you’re convinced otherwise, call me when you get some confidence and a clue. It’s sex. Loosen up a little; it makes it easier to enjoy the ride. Besides, everyone knows real men are good with their hands and know their way around a tool toy box.

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