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2
Aug

Topco Sales propositions Laurence Fishburne’s daughter

Following her uber-public porn venture announcement, 19-year-old Montana Fishburne, daughter of famous mainstream actor Laurence Fishburne, is being targeted by Topco Sales, which on Friday sent her an offer via open letter…

“We have seen in various media outlets that you are set to release a film on Vivid.com in August,” Topco Sales CEO Scott Tucker writes. “We think that having your very own toy would be a great way for you to fully capitalize on your porn debut.”

If Ms. Fishburne accepts this offer, she will join the ranks of famous adult superstars such as Audrey Hollander, Bree Olson, Nautica Thorn, Joanna Angel and Taylor Vixen who have all been molded for the company’s Wildfire Celebrity Series.

“Topco Sales is known for molding porn stars and making the most realistic replica sex toys on the market. Using amazing CyberSkin material, these toys are incredibly lifelike and highly sought after,” says Desiree Duffie, Director of Marketing and Public Relations for Topco Sales.


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25
Jan

Tickle

What’s the last thing Tickle Me Elmo receives before he leaves the factory?

Two test tickles



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18
Jan

Egghead

What did the egg say to the boiling water?

“How can you expect me to get hard so fast? I just got laid a minute ago.”



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11
Jan

Buffoon

How is being at a singles bar different than being at the circus?

At the circus, the clowns don’t talk.

87737410


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5
Jan

Promiscuous Produce

What do you call kids born in whorehouses?

Brothel sprouts

93354532


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29
Dec

Champion

A man is out shopping and discovers a new brand of Olympic condoms. Clearly impressed, he buys a pack. Upon getting home he announces to his wife the purchase he just made.

“Olympic condoms?” she asks, “What makes them so special?”

“There are three colors,” he replies, “Gold, Silver and Bronze.”

“What color are you going to wear tonight?” she asks cheekily.

“Gold of course,” says the man proudly.

The wife responds, “Really, why don’t you wear Silver, it would be nice if you came second for a change!”

94330188


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21
Dec

Cock-a-doodle-doo

A chicken and an egg check in to a cheap motel room. Moments later the chicken sits up against the headboard and lights a cigarette.

The egg says, “Well, that settles that.”

1001047742


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15
Dec

Breathless

How is sex a lot like air?

Because it’s not a big deal unless you’re not getting any.93354532



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