Went on a first date last night. Thought I’d give him a try. He failed.

Ladies — I feel it’s our public duty to educate the men of the world about what NOT to do when you like a girl. How else are they going to learn?

DISCLAIMER: Men — if you want to just bang the chick, then by all means do whatever it takes and skip dessert.

6 Don’ts for the Dating Scene:

1. Make an effort on the first impression…I know it shouldn’t matter, but it kinda does. It shows you’re interested enough to spend some time washing your hair and changing your shirt.
2. Don’t make me choose the restaurant and don’t make me drive.
3. Don’t try to hold and caress my hand at dinner when we’ve only known each other for like, a couple of hours. It’s not romantic; it’s kinda weird.
4. Don’t invite yourself into my apartment after dinner to “talk” more. I’m not stupid. If I wanted to continue the evening, I would already have asked you to come inside.
5. Compliments are great. But when the majority of your side of the conversation revolves around how you like my eyes, wit, height, shoe size, blood type…it gets a little uncomfortable.
6. Even if you really like me, don’t tell me yet. It’s the first date, and if you already want to get married and buy a time-share together, you might need to step back a bit. The chase can be fun, but when it’s too easy, the excitement wanes.

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